


A(nother) Christmas Story

by Pandamomochan



Series: Opposites Eventually Attract [7]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Merry Christmas Superbat lovers, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 17:00:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5505803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandamomochan/pseuds/Pandamomochan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clark wants to give Bruce the perfect Christmas gift, but what exactly do you give the man who can buy just about anything? Clark may need to enlist some help from the family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A(nother) Christmas Story

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [（又）一个圣诞故事](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11233500) by [Cassie_ERmtb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassie_ERmtb/pseuds/Cassie_ERmtb)



> **Warning:** This fic has extreme amounts of fluff in it. Feel free to substitute it for snow…unless it’s already snowing where you live…
> 
> So, yeah, I don’t usually write holiday fics during actual holidays. I have nothing against them, and I love reading them, but I just never been moved on an actual holiday. Sometimes the ideas just have to spring on you, and they never have for me in the past. This one did.
> 
> Also took a shot at writing about some other characters I don’t usually write, I hope I did them justice…In any case, Merry Christmas SuperBat lovers!
> 
> P.S For those of you following the series, this takes place before "Mr. Romantic." BTW, you don't need to read the series to enjoy this fic :)

“What did I get Master Bruce for Christmas?” The butler echoed while looking back at the man who just asked the question. Alfred’s stalwart face did not falter, and he replied. “I did not get him anything.”

Clark’s brow knitted. “Really?”

“In all honesty, we don’t celebrate Christmas here at the manor. Not since Master Timothy moved away. At one point, we tried to get Master Damian involved, but he was in no way interested.” 

A look of disbelief edged Clark’s face. “You’re kidding me. I thought for sure Bruce at least celebrated Christmas.” 

Alfred merely nodded as he continued his task of polishing the silverware. Clark was now seated at the kitchen island directly behind the older man with his shoulders slumped and a disappointed look on his face. 

“Well, do you have any idea what I could get him as a gift?” Clark hopefully asked.

“Some sanity.”

Clark let out a light chuckle. “Very funny, Alfred.”

Alfred looked at Clark with the same indifferent expression. “I didn’t realize I laughed.”

******************************************

“What have I gotten Bruce for Christmas before?” Dick wrinkled his nose at the question as though the idea was something completely strange and unnatural. He then looked up thoughtfully before his face turned into sheepish grin. “Well, when I was younger I used to make him things, but eventually you grow up and realize your billionaire guardian isn’t very interested in homemade clay ash trays…especially since he doesn’t even smoke. One year I even made him a favors coupon book.”

Clark’s face lit up. “Really? How did that work out?”

“He didn’t even use a single one,” Dick laughed with a voice that was a mix of nostalgia and embarrassment. 

Clark let out a dejected sigh to which Dick placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Sorry, Clark. I wish I could be more help, but Bruce just isn’t really into celebrating holidays, and it’s really tough picking out a gift for a rich guy. Of course, if you just ask him directly, he’ll say he doesn’t need anything. I eventually gave up trying. Honestly though, I think the thing he would like most is to just spend some time with you.”

*******************************************

“Have I ever gotten Bruce anything for Christmas?” Tim reiterated not even bothering to look up from his computer. The young man seemed deeply engrossed with the program he was working on prior to Clark’s arrival. “Yes, I have.”

“Really?” Clark blurted out with more excitement then he intended. Finally he was getting somewhere. “What did you get him?”

“Intel,” Tim frankly replied. “I guess he would’ve eventually asked for it on his own, but I gave it to him before he had to. It saved him hours of time on a case he was working during Christmas that year. He seemed thankful enough.”

“That just seems so…” Clark’s eyes drifted off to the side. “ _Impersonal_.”

Tim shrugged in response. “Hey, Bruce likes useful things, and unfortunately if he needs anything that is physically useful, he gets it before any of us can even think of gifting it to him. It’s the perk to having so much money, but it sucks for the rest of us.”

Finally Tim looked up from his computer. When he noticed Clark’s defeated posture, he gave the superhero a sympathetic smile.

“Hey, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Bruce isn’t interested in anything monetary. I’m sure he would just be happy to spend time with you.” 

Clark tried to reciprocate a smile, but only managed to slightly tinge the corner of his mouth. “That’s what Dick said…”

*******************************************

“I feel the same way as Dick and Tim,” Barbara replied while turning her chair to face Clark. “There really isn’t anything you can buy Bruce that he doesn’t have already.” 

Clark’s face was on the verge of crumpling before Barbara spoke again. “So I thought I would try to make him some homemade treats, but it’s really hard to compete with Alfred.”

Clark noticed Barbara’s uncomfortable expression. “Well it’s the thought that counts,” he attempted to comfort.

“That’s what I thought too…” The red head replied before her cheeks flushed to a color not far from her hair. “That is until he ended up getting food poisoning. I felt terrible, and now Bruce is really wary and not exactly thrilled about accepting gifts that anyone besides Alfred has prepared.”

Barbara looked at Clark apologetically. “So I would definitely shy away from that route.”

*******************************************

“Alfred, I am completely stumped,” Clark sighed as he propped his elbows on the kitchen island and rested his head in his hands. Somehow his search had brought him back to literal square one . “This is our first Christmas together. I was really hoping I could get Bruce something special.”

“That is not necessary,” Alfred replied.

“I know it’s not,” Clark complained before completely dropping his head on the counter. “I was just hoping that I could. I guess I was only kidding myself.”

A cup of tea was set by Clark’s face causing the reporter to look up. Although his countenance did not change, Alfred was now giving Clark his full attention. “Well, perhaps you are not approaching this in the right manner. Rather than thinking about what you can get him, why don’t you think about the things that matter most to him?”

Clark took the mug in his hands and looked at his own murky reflection. “Like spending time with me? Yeah, everyone basically told me that already, but that's what I always do for him. Isn’t there something more?”

Alfred studied Clark before the man suddenly whipped his head up and looked back at the butler with wide enthused eyes. “Hold up, I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before. Alfred, you are absolutely right. The thing that Bruce cares most about isn’t just spending time with me, but with everyone he loves.”

Clark was now filled with a renewed sense of vigor, and he excitedly stood to his feet. “Maybe I could get everyone together for a surprise family Christmas celebration. Bruce and I were already planning to meet up on Christmas Eve.” 

Clark turned towards the Wayne butler with a wide grin and expectant eyes radiating at the man. “Alfred do you think you could-"

Alfred raised a hand and completed Clark’s thought. “Say no more, I will take care of the necessary preparations.”

“Then I guess I will handle making sure everyone shows up."

“ _Everyone_?” Alfred questioned with a hint of apprehension.

Clark’s smile dropped from eager to nervous. “Yeah, everyone.”

********************************************

The man sat perched atop the roof and focused his binoculars onto the street below. He then lowered his field glasses and let out a long aggravated groan. Even though he hadn’t turned around to confirm it, Jason sensed the Kryptonian’s approach long before his arrival. Then again, it was obvious to him Clark wasn’t even trying to mask his presence. 

“I don’t know how you found me,” Jason groused before refocusing his sights on whatever it was he was watching before Clark appeared.

Clark glided his way towards the hooded man and gave him a knowing smile. “I have my sources.”

“Damn, Dick,” Jason muttered under his breath.

“Tim, actually.” 

Jason shrugged. “Whatever.”

No longer able to ignore the man who was now in dangerously close proximity, Jason finally turned to look at Clark. “So what do you want? Did Bruce send you?”

Jason felt his curiosity rise as he watched Clark’s face turn a deep shade of red, and he let out an uneasy laugh. “Not exactly.”

******************************************

“No way,” Barbara interjected. 

Clark gave her a pleading stare. “It’s the only way he said he would come.”

“That bastard!” Tim cursed as he balled his hand into a tight fist. “He thinks this is funny. He just wants to make us all look like idiots.”

Damian clenched his jawed, and gritted out. “I may have agreed to attend this frivolous event, but there is no way I will participate in such foolery.”

Dick was still staring apprehensively into the box Clark just presented to all of them. “He really said he’d come if we did this?”

“And behave himself,” Clark added with a desperate smile.

“And you actually believed him?” Tim snorted. He then stood up and looked out at everyone. “You guys do realize he’s just messing with us. I bet he doesn’t show.”

Barbara furrowed her brow. “And miss the opportunity to see this. Oh, I think he’ll come.”

Damian let out a frustrated sound and then proceeded to leave the room. “I am not going to do this.”

“Damian, wait!” Dick called out, but the young boy was already well out of range.

Dick looked back at Clark reassuringly and gave him a feeble smile. “I’m sure we’ll get him to come around…at least I hope so.”

Clark looked about as convinced as Dick sounded. He then glanced at everyone with large piteous eyes. “So you guys will do this?”

No one made a move to reply as they all stared down at the box uneasily.

“It’s not just a favor to me, it’s for Bruce.”

Tim groaned. “You _had_ to put it _that_ way.”

Dick let out a sigh of surrender and pulled the large red item out of the box. “I have to admit, I could be doing worst things than dressing up like Santa Claus.”

“Yeah, like dressing up as a stupid reindeer,” Tim grumbled sourly while holding up a pair of antlers.

Barbara made a face of pure disgust. “Where is the rest of my costume? Mrs. Claus would not dress in something this…skimpy. Why is Jason such a goddamn pervert?”

“Do you need help getting your costume on?” Dick offered with a less than innocent grin.

“Uggh, Dick,” Barbara groaned while flicking a bright red garter strap at his face. “No wonder. He spent too much time hanging out with you growing up.”

“Can’t blame a guy for trying,” Dick laughed as he rubbed the eye she had struck with precise aim. 

******************************************

“Would you like a cup of egg nog?” The butler offered.

Clark turned towards the older man and just narrowly missed hitting him with the large foam carrot covering his nose. Somehow he ended up being assigned the role of Frosty the Snowman.

“Thanks Alfred,” Clark replied before removing the obstruction so that he could actually take a sip from his cup. “I just don’t mean for the drink, I mean for everything. There is no way I could have put any of this together if it wasn’t for you.”

“I’m happy to be of service,” Alfred replied back evenly. He then looked out across the room towards the direction everyone was sitting. Dick was now dressed in an oversized Santa costume and was talking to Damian who now had his arms crossed and his face turned away from him. To the left of them was Tim who was wearing a headband made to look like antlers, and he was smiling and speaking with Barbara who was basically dressed in red lingerie and a Santa hat.

“Besides, it has been awhile since the manor has felt so…alive.” 

“Alfred…” Clark mumbled as he also stared out and admired the scene before them. He then smiled to himself and began to wonder what Bruce would think when he took this moment in as well. If it was anything close to the feeling of warmth Clark was now experiencing, then there would be no doubt in his mind that he indeed picked the perfect gift. 

Finally Alfred spoke, and for the first time Clark was graced with one of Alfred’s rare tender smiles. “I am not sure if you realize this, but you have brought so much life back to Master Bruce’s world. So for that, I thank you as well.”

Clark was speechless as he looked back at Alfred through wide eyes. He then opened his mouth to speak before he was suddenly interrupted by the nearby commotion.

A lamp was nearly knocked over as Dick attempted to place a green hat with elf ears sticking out of it on top of Damian’s head. “Damian, just wear the hat at least. I think that much will be enough.”

The younger Wayne immediately swatted it to the ground and grabbed Dick tightly by the wrist just at the pressure point between his radial and ulnar arteries. “If you bring that thing near me, I swear I will put your head on a pike right next to where I plan to put Todd.”

Dick winced a bit and pulled his arm back. Tim frowned at Damian and grounded out lowly. “Just wear the stupid hat. Stop being such a spoiled brat.”

Damian whipped around quickly so that he was hovering over the seated Tim and sizing him up. “What did you say? Why don’t you try saying that again to my face?”

Tim closed his eyes, took in a deep breath, and smiled grimly at Damian. “You. Are. A. Spoiled. Brat.”

Just as Damian lunged into the air, he was swiftly caught in midflight by Dick. “Now hold up guys. There is no need to fight.”

“Tim, stop egging Damian on,” Barbara scolded as she slapped Tim on the knee.

Tim looked at her with a bit of offense and rubbed his leg. “Oh, typical, so this is my fault.”

“Just be the mature one,” Dick pleaded before he was roughly elbowed in the ribs. 

Tim turned his eyes and muttered under his breath. “Why do I always have to be the mature one?”

“Uh oh, I think I need to do some damage control,” Clark exclaimed as he rose from his seat. He was then swiftly caught by the arm. He looked back at Alfred with a questioning glance before the butler shook his head and replied.

“Allow me. You have done your best, but there are some things I don’t think you are quite apt to deal with just yet. Consider this my thanks.”

Clark gave an affirmative nod and then watched as Alfred calmly approached the quickly escalating scene.

“Now, now, Master Timothy, you know there is no need to resort to name calling,” Alfred reproved as he gave Tim one of his famous looks of indifferent rebuke.

Tim, who was already feeling a bit guilty, wilted in his seat and lowered his head. “Yeah, you’re right…”

Thoroughly satisfied with Tim’s surrender, Alfred turned towards Damian who was now standing next to a hunched over Dick rubbing his sides. “And as for you, Master Damian, how about we strike a deal?”

Damian lifted his head signifying his interest.

“If Master Timothy can best you in a game, you will wear the hat, and if he loses you can make him do something in return.”

Damian let out a cynical laugh. “There is nothing I need from Drake.”

“Oh, how about making him run outside naked around the yard four times,” Dick suggested with a bit too much enthusiasm.

“Dick, you are not helping,” Barbara berated while Tim glared at him with just as much irritation.

Dick looked back at them with genuine surprise. “What, you guys never had to do that if you lost a game of strip poker?” 

Barbara raised a brow to him. “Do any of us look like we would play strip poker?”

Dick tried not to laugh as he realized the irony of what Barbara was saying considering her attire. 

“No, I think for once Grayson has a great idea,” Damian cut in. He then looked out the window towards the falling snow before grinning back at Tim darkly. “Okay, I agree.”

Alfred nodded his approval and then looked down at Tim. “Do you agree Master Timothy?

Tim glowered at Damian for a moment and then let out a heavy sigh. “Fine.”

“So what game will we be playing?” Tim asked with a curious glance in Alfred’s direction.

“How about Old Maid?”

Everyone looked over at Clark skeptically slightly in disbelief he would pick such a childish game. With the exception of Damian who had no clue what they were talking about and was just giving Clark one of his usual sneers. Admittedly everyone had forgotten Clark was even in the room.  
Clark made an entreating face and started to defend his case. “I know it’s a simple game, but it’s something we can all participate in, and whoever is in the game the longest between Tim and Damian will be the loser.”

Everyone looked slightly more convinced but still not completely committed. 

“It would also help narrow down the chances of either of you cheating if we all play,” Clark added.

Tim and Damian exchanged glances, before Damian spoke up. “Fine.”

******************************************

Damian’s face was slightly puffed up and turning a light shade of crimson. “I only lost because Drake cheated. I don’t know how he did it, but I am just certain that he did.”

Tim shot Damian an incredulous look. “How could I have cheated? I was the one to your left and Clark was the one to your right, and he lost overall.”

Clark gave them both a sheepish grin. “What can I say? I have never been that great at card games.”

“You’re also the one who shuffled and dealt the cards,” Barbara added while looking at the doubtful Damian.

Damian narrowed his eyes on Tim, and then crossed his arms in a sulking manner. “Fine, even if you did cheat, I don’t know how you did it. So if I can’t prove it, I accept my defeat. I will wear the absurd hat.”

Tim’s smile curled before he plopped the green cap over Damian’s head. This only caused the younger boy to curl deeper into his ball of resentment that he was now creating with his entire body. He then burrowed deeper in his seat and glared at the table.

Dick gave Damian a sympathetic look, while also berating himself for not bringing a camera. He then tilted his head in Clark’s direction and spoke just below a whisper.

“Not good at cards games, huh?”

Clark didn’t even look at Dick and smiled. “I admit to nothing but the fact that I am a really good counter.”

Dick chuckled lowly. “Me too.”

******************************************

“It’s been over an hour since I put this thing on,” Damian growled. “And Todd still hasn’t shown up!”

“I told you he wasn’t going to come,” Tim grumbled. 

“I really thought he would…” Barbara murmured more to herself.

“Yeah, and where the hell is Bruce?” Dick griped.

Clark gave everyone a remorseful look before pulling out his phone and staring grimly at the time display. “I’m not sure. We were supposed to meet up over an hour ago. I left him a message, but he still hasn’t replied.” 

It was at that moment, Clark’s phone began to vibrate and ring to the theme of “Jingle Bells.” Damian looked at the older man with minor disgust, but Clark didn’t seem to notice.

“Oh, speaking of which, that’s him now. 

Clark smiled into the phone. “Hey, Bruce.” It was then that his expression dropped lower than his voice. “Oh, you got held up?” 

“That doesn’t sound good,” Dick murmured to Barbara. 

“I see…no it’s fine. I’ll wait up for you.” After saying his goodbyes Clark hung up the phone and looked back at the group dejectedly. 

Even though everyone pretty much knew the answer, Dick asked the question that was on everybody’s mind. “So what’s up?”

Clark exhaled deeply and frowned. “Bruce’s flight got delayed on account of weather. He said he would still be able to make it tonight, but it won’t be in until really late.”

Everyone exchanged quiet glances save for Damian who already disappeared from sight.

“If you want, we can wait up till he-” Barbara started to offer. 

Clark shook his head and interrupted her. “No, I don’t want to hold anyone up longer than I already have. I’m just sorry I put you through all of this for nothing.”

Once again, the room grew silent. The whole night Clark tried to stay positive, but now that he was looking so sullen the entire mood had shifted.

Barbara smiled at Clark warmly. “It’s fine Clark.” 

“Yeah, you tried,” Dick agreed as he patted him on the back. He then looked out at the room reminiscently. “It was actually pretty fun getting to spend time with everyone. It’s been so long since we all got together like this.”

Despite their earlier squabble, most of the night had consisted of the group catching up with one another while enjoying Alfred’s cooking and each other’s company. In actuality, it had been a fun night.

Tim let out an honest laugh of concurrence. “Yeah, I admit it was pretty nice.”

“Sure made my Christmas,” Barbara added.

Clark nodded weakly in return for their assurance. “Well, thanks everyone. I still really appreciate everything. I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas.”

“Clark, you have definitely gotten us on the right start,” Dick smiled back.

******************************************

Bruce stepped out of his car and stared up at the gray sky, the dark clouds floating above were a reminder of the stormy weather from the night before. Due to the snow and ice, Bruce didn’t make it back home till well past midnight. Typically he wouldn’t have thought twice about it, but he promised to spend the night with Clark.

In actuality, Bruce didn’t care so much about the holiday, but the one thing he was holiday leave. Which translated to him being able to spend more time with Clark, and to Bruce that was a gift all in itself.

Unfortunately, due to the delay their time together had been greatly shortened. In return, Bruce spent a good portion of the night _making it up_ to Clark. Especially when he arrived and Clark seemed a bit more depressed than he originally expected. Bruce hadn’t realized how much the night meant to Clark. Next year Bruce would definitely make sure to leave his entire day open for the man.

As far as Christmas day went, the Kents had an ongoing tradition, and even though Clark had offered to stay, Bruce insisted the man go and be with his family. 

_‘Hopefully Clark made it home safely,’_ Bruce thought to himself as he continued to examine the sky. His warm breath took form in front of him as he let out a deep sigh. He then slowly trudged down the alley that led to the back entrance of the building he was visiting.

“Hey old man,” a familiar voice echoed from above.

“Jason?” Bruce exclaimed while watching his former partner leap off a balcony and land skillfully in front of him. 

“What are you-” Bruce started to question just before a red envelope was shoved in his face.

“Here.”

Bruce just stared at Jason warily and made no attempt to take it. “What is this?”

Jason let out an impatient huff. “It’s your Christmas gift.”

Now Bruce looked even more confused causing Jason to shift on his feet and roll his eyes. “It’s not from me. It’s from Clark.”

Bruce’s forehead creased and he searched Jason’s eyes. Finally deciding that he was telling the truth, Bruce accepted the present. Jason smirked seemingly pleased by Bruce’s obvious surprise.

“If you’re wondering why I’m delivering it instead of him, it’s a long story that I don’t intend to share with you. Just tell Clark I held up my end of the bargain. I may be a cold blooded killer, but let it be known that Jason Todd doesn’t welch on a deal.”

“Jason…” Bruce trailed. He then opened his mouth as though he was going to say something completely unrelated, but Jason let out a mocking laugh and spoke before Bruce could speak.

“You know, that Clark isn’t a bad guy. So I really don’t see how he can stand to put up with you like he does. In any case, don’t ruin a good thing. I know you have a tendency to do shit like that.”

With that final remark, Jason jumped into the air and made his way back on the balcony with just as much effortless ease as before. He then waved a final salutation at the man. “See you around, Bruce,” and disappeared from sight.

For a moment, Bruce just stared in the direction Jason had departed. He then glanced blankly at the envelope in his hand. Considering his past encounters with Jason, a small part of him was hesitant to open the letter. It was the section of Batman’s brain that always felt the need to be cautious.

Then again, over the last several years, Bruce and Jason’s relationship had become something very different. True the two of them would probably never be at a place like they had been in the past, but despite all their fumbling they had created a new bond with one another. One built upon a mutual respect, and an underlying foundation of a love that never truly died between them, and when it really came down to it, they were both always there to protect and support one another. Of course, this was something neither of them would ever really admit to each other out loud, and Jason was still so keen on taking shots at Bruce, but that was just a part of the new relationship they'd formed and accepted.

Bruce held the letter thoughtfully before turning it around and gingerly opening it. As soon as he saw what was inside, he let out a choking sound and held a hand to his mouth. His whole body then began to tremble, and the unthinkable happened.

Standing alone, in a deserted alley, on an early Christmas morning, Bruce Wayne, billionaire playboy, and infamous Gotham vigilante, broke into a fit of uninhibited laughter. Tears began to well up in his eyes as Bruce could no longer contain himself. It was as though years of pint up emotions flooded the man’s very senses and overwhelmed his body and mind with an indescribable unshakeable warmth. 

After wiping away a few stray tears of joy off his now rosy cheeks, Bruce finally brought his laughter down to a few dull snickers. At this point, his sides ached too much for anything else, and he greedily gulped in the cold air he so desperately needed to sustain his lungs.

Bruce then smiled deeply and gave the card in his hands one last longing stare before getting into his car and taking off at top speed. 

******************************************

The older woman smiled when she opened the front door. Then without another word she called out to her son. “Clark, there is someone at the door for you.”

After enjoying a very large and hearty Christmas brunch, Clark was now sprawled out on the living room couch by the fireplace in a nearly comatose state. “Really? Who could it be?” Clark mumbled languidly as he made his way towards the entrance.

“Bruce?”

Standing before him was Bruce with an unnaturally large grin spread across his extra handsome face. 

At this point, Clark was rubbing his eyes and wondering if he'd accidentally fallen asleep. He was, however, thoroughly convinced once Bruce jumped into his arms and captured his lips.

Bruce’s tongue danced across his own in a blissful heated kiss that no dream could ever measure up to. Clark was in a suspended state of shock, and it took him a moment longer than usual to respond. After regaining his sense of reason, Clark returned the man’s embrace and leaned into their kiss giving Bruce better access to his mouth. There was just so much desperation and raw emotion pouring into him at that moment, and Clark refused to let a single bit of it escape.

Once they separated, Clark felt his head spin and realized at some point he'd steadied himself on the screen door. Bruce still refused to remove his arms from around Clark’s neck as he nuzzled his face between the curvature of Clark's collar and breathed out. “Clark Kent, I love you.”

“You what?” Clark asked dumbly with wide eyes of disbelief. Maybe he was dreaming.

When Bruce didn’t frown at Clark’s absentminded outburst, Clark rubbed his eyes again. Bruce just continued to smile before handing Clark the red envelope from his pocket. “Merry Christmas.”

Clark took the festive looking letter, and opened it up to reveal a Christmas card.

On the cover was a picture of Dick dressed in a Santa costume sitting next to a Barbara who was wearing a matching hat. Across the table from them was Damian wearing a green cap with pointy ears that covered his own arguing with Tim who had reindeer antlers on his head and bells around his neck. Beside them was Clark who had a top hat and scarf speaking with Alfred who was wearing his normal uniform. However, in sharpie was an arrow pointing to him with the words “he’s a penguin, haha.” Inside, the card was completely blank save for the phrase “you were late, old man,” and a doodle of a character with a familiar hood totting mini pistols with horns and a word bubble coming out him saying, “I’m Krampus, bitches.”

At this point Clark was laughing uncontrollably and Bruce was sitting beside him chuckling as well. After recovering from his bout of laughter, Clark looked over at Bruce and smiled back. “Merry Christmas, Bruce.”

The End!

So I am in no way by a margin a great artist, but I decided I had to “attempt” to draw the card out. So here it is: 

> Front: [View post on imgur.com](//imgur.com/VBKPJlk)

> Back: [View post on imgur.com](//imgur.com/CLraclz)

**Author's Note:**

> Jason is the king of dicks, but he has heart. Did I ever mention I love Jason? I have difficulty choosing if I like Dick or Jason more… 
> 
> I hope my fic wasn’t completely unbelievable for the batfamily. In any case, the reason I wrote this story is because I got the most retarded Christmas card in the mail the other day from an old school mate. We always had this weird humor between us, but it was her family (including her dog) all dressed similar to what was depicted in the story doing the most ridiculous battle pose that was so out of place for Santa and his helpers. I laughed so hard, and then this story happened. I hope someone gets a laugh out of this fic like I did out of that card. If they did, then I did my part in spreading the Christmas cheer!
> 
> In any case, Merry Christmas to everyone! Thanks for all you support this year <3
> 
> P.S the running around naked four times after losing at strip poker was something my friends used to make everyone do when I was younger. There was a reason we all cheated, haha.  
> 


End file.
